A Heavy Heart to Start November

It’s been a while since I’ve had time to post, so I’ll be posting several over the next couple of weeks to get caught up. Well, the first week of November has proven to continue the high and low pattern. This has been an emotionally heavy week. I know often times you see pictures of smiling kids while we teach or eat or play, but oftentimes those same kids are going through some very difficult things at home. So many thoughts have gone through my mind this week. For most of this post, names and photos are not given due to the sensitive nature of the issues and to protect our kiddos.

The first of November we had training over the weekend for our new site coordinators. This training was wonderful and going great until the phone call. The dad of one of our current elementary age kids and two of our former Vinde teens, has a severe drinking problem. When he is sober and working, I’ve been told, he’s really a nice guy but once he starts drinking it’s awful. He creates a lot of fear in his home. It happens that his wife had had enough and left him (who knows for how long she will stay away or if she comes back), leaving their three girls at the home. (This pattern of one parent or the other leaving and returning plays out often; leaving a lot of emotional scars for our kids). Well, in his drunkenness, he decided to kill himself; hang himself more specifically. These young daughters come in to find him hanging. They hold him up to keep him from dying. Staff at Vinde were called and they went to try to help. The girls were a mess, rightfully so. By this point the dad has fled to Fernão Dias, an interstate that runs through Atibaia, to throw himself off an overpass, in a second attempt at suicide. The staff were able to talk to him before he could act. But he didn’t want to hear it. He said he just wanted to do what he wanted to do. He didn’t care about anything they had to say. Can you imagine the trauma the girls experience in that home? (Side note, between the time I originally typed this in November until mid December, mom had come back and they even show up at church. I don’t know how long it will last this time. It’s just a sea of back and forth).

Well, one of the two teen daughters of this same family had recently gotten pregnant too. The family arranged for her to have an abortion. Abortion is illegal in Brazil except for 3 cases; rape, mother’s life is in danger, or when the fetus has anencephaly (a severe brain defect). I have no idea if it was a legal procedure or some back alley deal; but regardless, I know that a baby was murdered nonetheless. This same girl was cutting herself. She has three large cuts on her arm. I’m not sure if she trying to commit suicide too or if it was strictly self-harm, as she is no longer attending Vinde. (She decided she didn’t want to come anymore last year). What a heartbreaking situation all the way around. An unrepentant alcoholic father, an abandoning mother, a teen pregnancy, an abortion, multiple suicide attempts, and self harm. My heart is so heavy for this family. On Monday, the youngest daughter was at Vinde, playing and smiling. It’s bizarre the things our mind and bodies do to try to handle trauma.

On a high note, this whole second semester I have been working with our more advanced English teens in writing out their testimonies and then working to translate them into English. No ChatGPT or Google translate stuff. Good old fashion pen, paper, and working it out. I have been so proud of them and the effort they have put into this project. Now I knew in the beginning not all these kids were saved but I also knew this would be a great way to find out. Of course being the non-offending people Brazilians are, they all claimed Christ as Savior and proceeded with the project. Sarah and Cianna helped me with helping the kids in translating their testimonies. While I was on the mission trip to Marajo, Sarah was helping with translating. During this process, it become evident that one young man was not saved. After witnessing to him, he professed Jesus as Lord. Hallelujah!

As capstone to this project, we were going to have a nice dinner where the teens would present their testimonies to our staff. One of our young ladies has terrible stage fright and was refusing to give her testimony after a semester worth of working on it. I was trying to convince her that it would be good for her to at least try, we talked about how important it is, as the Bible says in 1 Peter 3 to always be ready to give an answer to every man that asks you for a reason of the hope that is in you. Well, one of our young men was listening and took that to heart and was witnessing to another teen a couple weeks later.

On the 3rd, following the weekend drama, this teen sent me a message, telling my he had his “true” testimony now. I was a bit confused. I wondered if my Portuguese was incorrect, so I asked Eduardo, the sweet teen that helps at Vinde (he’s one of the ones I’ve talked about before as one of our “now 5 kids”). Eduardo looked at me as a smile grew across his face and he said, “Oh, yeah, I have a story for you.” I was still confused but very intrigued now. While witnessing to this female teen the young man started to get frustrated, so he texted Eduardo for some advice. Ya’ll Eduardo’s advice was so spiritually mature, I was blown away. The way he handled the young man’s questions and concerns was amazing. Such wisdom, discernment, and gentleness. We both started to cry as he recounted the conversation. The young man basically confided in Eduardo that he wasn’t really saved. He only said he was saved because he was afraid of being judged. After he told the lie, he felt like he had to keep the lie going and it was wearing on him. As a result of their conversation, this young man had a repentant heart and now a real relationship with Jesus Christ. Hallelujah again! I can’t tell you what a breath of fresh air to my soul that was. Later that day, when the young man came to Vinde we talked about his new life in Christ. What a wonderful blessing for both of those young people. Those two now have a brotherhood of friendship, family, trust, salvation. My heart was full.

Then Wednesday happened. Another one of our teens came to me crying. She found out that her best friend of 11 years was moving about a 3 hour plane ride away. She also found out that her dad has plans on leaving their family, although she doesn’t know when. Through her tears she sobbed that one day she would wake up and he would just be gone. Her heart was hurt and she said she couldn’t take anymore pain. She asked me why God would take away all these people she loves in her life; first Tia Ellis, who moved back in July, now here friend, and then her dad. My heart ached with hers. Painful aching. We spoke for a good while and I thought we ended in a good place. I let Liandro know about her situation in order for him to further counsel.

Mason is doing well with his internship in graphic design. The construction of their room is now complete and they’re working away.

Trevor has also had his hands full with changing tires. The tire of Roberto’s car had to be changed. We just happened to be driving by and were able to lend a hand. Then a week later a mom at Vinde had her tire go flat. Trevor used this as an opportunity to teach Eduardo how to change a tire. Davi was interested in what they were doing to his mom’s car as well.

Friday for Megabox, which is what they call the youth group that Mason and Eduardo go to, Eduardo invited a bunch of kids. Liandro went and picked them up in the van. Eduardo has such a heart to see his friends know the Lord.

Saturday we were invited to be a part of Davi’s special day at school. Each kid in his class wrote and illustrated a book. He was having a book signing and wouldn’t miss it.

Saturday was also our English project dinner. The kids were so excited. Nervous but excited.

A couple were even texting me about ‘today being the day’! They were worried about words they were still having problems pronouncing, but I assured them that everyone that was invited to dinner were staff that loved them; people who wanted to encourage them. They did an amazing job!

One by one they presented their testimonies. Vinde was mentioned in all of their testimonies as part of their spiritual journey. What a blessing this ministry is. I could not have been any prouder of them. We were missing two ladies; one young lady was out of town and not able to attend and the young lady that refused to present decided to not come to the dinner either. But man, the teens that showed up, nailed it.

During this project, besides their testimonies, they baked cookies from a recipe in English, shopped from an grocery list in English, learned how to set a table properly, and went to McDonalds and out for ice cream for rewards. I can’t wait to work with even more teens next year.

My heart was overflowing with joy and pride.

Then Monday happened. I get the text that one of our teens was in crisis. It was the teen from Wednesday. I was surprised because she was invited to the testimony project, due to her English speaking skills and the fact that she was part of one of the other teen’s testimony, and she was happy because her friend’s family decided not to move after all. She was laughing and smiling. This precious young lady had tried to end her life. I felt blindsided. She overdosed on prescription medication. Thankfully, she survived and was treated at the hospital. Our staff was at the hospital with her and stayed with her after her parents went back to work. I was taken back how parents could just leave their child at the hospital after attempting suicide. Dad had to work (and the teen didn’t want her dad there anyway) and the mom had a test for school she didn’t want to miss. My heart felt broken for her again. Many of us counseled with her. We brought her back to Vinde to stay with Liandro and Chris so she would not be alone at home and then be surrounded by the drama when the parents would arrive home. Sarah and I, along with a friend of hers stayed. I provided dinner for everyone (though she was so heavily medicated and didn’t eat much) and I stayed with her until about 10pm. The teen was able to sleep ok for a little bit then woke up throwing up. She made two more trips to the hospital this week as her body was trying to detox itself.

It’s hard to process all the feelings and heaviness. The roller coaster of joy and pain so extreme and constant this past week. I write this for multiple reasons. One, for my own coping. Two, to allow you to see a little bit behind the curtain of the lives of the at-risk kiddos we serve. Third, to share what wonderful people we work with. And four, to request prayer for those mentioned in this post, for our staff, for our kids, and for us.